Every year I start the High Holidays in bewilderment. My question is always the same: Will I have a breakthrough? Will I ?get it,? delve inside myself deeply enough to know my failings that I?ve overlooked? Will I find a way to better my acts in the coming year?
Through the days of prayer and reflection, I keep returning to these questions. I am always anguished at my inabilities to see. I stand and cover my eyes, and beg myself to see what must be before me. I get mentally frantic at times. I lose hope. I pray for hope for myself. I ask G-d to help me to find the strength within myself to open my eyes.
Somehow, every year I experience a miracle. Just before the end of Yom Kippur services, a revelation ? as clear and succinct as can be ? enters my consciousness. It?s different every year. It?s never what I thought it would be as I searched.
It carries me through the coming year, and as I wander I?m thankful for the light provided by this insight. I?m convinced that I wouldn?t make it through the year without that light of understanding, and obedience to that commitment to better acts.
As we enter Rosh Hashanah, I wish to all to find their light for the coming year.
May you be inscribed in the Book of Life.